There are many important questions we can ask ourselves in relationships, but perhaps the most important is also the most simple: “Who is in charge?” The Apostle Paul gives us what our answer should be in Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” So who should be in charge? God. When everyone wants their own way, relationships break down. But when everyone involved chooses God’s way instead, there is unity.
Many of us cringe when we hear the word submit, but that’s likely because we hold a false view of what it truly means. Submission isn’t weakness; it’s worship, and it begins by recognizing that Jesus Christ is Lord over all of our relationships.
There are three main areas of core relationships Paul talks about in the rest of Ephesians 5–6: marriage, parenting, and the workplace.
The first—marriage—is meant to be a picture of unity.
Ephesians 5:22 & 25 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord . . . Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
Wives are called to respect and support their husband’s leadership under God, and husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially—just like Christ loves us. Marriage will always work best when both spouses are fully submitted to Christ first.
The second area Paul touches on is the home—our children’s most important training ground. Ephesians 6:1–2 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord . . . Honor your father and mother . . .”
So children are to obey their parents throughout their childhood, but they are to honor them for a lifetime.
Paul also urges fathers specifically in Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
As parents, our roles are not just about managing behavior; they are about training and nurturing our children in the ways of the Lord—discipling and disciplining them through loving, intentional relationship.
Discipline without relationship produces rebellion and resentment. But relationship without discipline produces chaos and regret.
The third area Paul mentions is the workplace.
In Ephesians 6:7–9 he writes, “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do . . . there is no favoritism with Him.”
Your boss may sign your paycheck, but God sees your work and your heart. It should always reflect integrity, excellence, reliability, and humility.
Paul writes in Ephesians 6:9, “. . . You know that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven . . .” So even if we hold a position of leadership within our workplace, that leadership is not ultimate authority; it is stewardship under God. We answer to Him alone.
If God is in charge of all of our core relationships, we can expect blessing. When we fully surrender these relationships to Christ, marriage becomes teamwork, parenting becomes discipleship, and work becomes worship!
