When our daughter was planning her wedding, Tamara and I enrolled in ballroom dancing lessons. We assumed we’d be naturals! After all, Tamara was a cheer captain of a 5A school, and I was a college athlete. But we soon realized our success in ballroom dancing didn’t so much depend on our individual strengths but on how well we moved together as one.
Unity—in dancing and in life—is work, but it creates something beautiful. It’s why the Apostle Paul wrote to the Church of Ephesus in Ephesians 4:1-3: “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
The word gentle here is prautes, which refers to a smallness in our eyes that enables us to depend on others. The word for “make every effort” is to act promptly in a way that moves things forward in life. So we’re to move things forward in humility constantly, not seeing ourselves as greater than anyone else, but recognizing we all have gifts that can work together to create something beautiful.
Now, let’s answer two questions: Why does gentleness bring out greatness in us and others? And how does gentleness bring out the best in us and others?
We find the answer to both in comparing two of Jesus’ disciples—Judas and Peter. Judas betrayed Jesus, turning him into Roman authorities for payment, and Peter denied Jesus when he thought it might cost him his life. Both failed Jesus, but their responses to their failings were different. Judas ended his life in despair, while Peter repented and found restoration.
So, here’s why gentleness matters to our future: it lives in touch with our feelings and failings while inspiring faith and hope for what’s possible.
In John 13:21, we see that on their last night together, Jesus told his disciples, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” The room erupted with the disciples, asking, “Is it me?” Then Peter pressed for an answer as to who it was.
But Jesus chose gentleness with Judas. He didn’t call him out publicly; he let him self-select. He didn’t berate him; he left the door open for mercy and restoration once Judas completed the betrayal.
Now, let’s talk about how gentleness brings out the best in us and others. First, it listens and considers the best interest of others. We’re called to be understanding, not demanding. Then, it learns to communicate in ways that bring out the best in others. We’re called to live dependent, not just determined!
When we “make every effort” to push unity forward in our relationships through gentleness—humility that makes way for restoration—we are living as imitators of Christ. It’s gentleness that makes our relationships great!
