Albert Einstein made this observation about marriage: “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.”
If you’ve been married for any length of time, this probably made you chuckle! But joking aside, Einstein’s statement offers truth we can’t look past. We all deal constantly with frustrations that arise when expectations aren’t met.
When that happens, how we handle our frustration—whether we choose exasperation and stagnation or empathy and development—can mean the world to both who we and others become. Our love has the power to destroy confidence and inhibit progress, but it also has the power to nurture maturity and promote success.
Let’s talk about how we can choose the latter.
1 John 4:18-19 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”
If we want to love others well, we first have to receive God’s love well, and that starts with trust. Verse 16 says, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
There’s a stark difference between simply knowing God’s love and actually relying on it. When we experience failure, we can’t just remember God loves us; we must also rely on that love to comfort and mature us.
Then, once we learn to rely on God’s love, we’ve also got to embrace His leadership. We must do what He asks us to do, trusting that His way is the best way.
Friends, we’ll all experience failure throughout our lives. And when we do, we may be tempted to stay stuck in it. Amid our frustration, we mustn’t ask God for a set of new circumstances, when what we really need is a new set of eyes.
One of my favorite perspectives on failure and success comes from someone who knew both well—Abraham Lincoln. He said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content in your failure.”
See, Lincoln endured incredible failure on the way to success, including bankruptcy, the death of his fiancé, and repeated business and political defeat. What set Lincoln apart wasn’t necessarily his talent or ability; it was his perspective.
Lincoln understood failure wasn’t final; it was simply success in progress. He recognized maturity is what mattered most. This realization helped him to experience profound personal success as well as to nurture great success in others.
How do you view failure? Do you see it as final, or as success in progress? God’s perspective is the latter, and my prayer is that it becomes ours, too. As we let God love and lead us, keeping a proper perspective amid failure, we will surely become all God wants us to become!
