Conflict resolution is one of life’s most important skills. Each of us naturally approaches it in one of two ways. We either avoid conflict like a plague, or we face it head on, though sometimes not in the kindest way.
Thankfully, Jesus gave us a better way to approach issues with each other—as peacemakers. In Matthew 5:9, He says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Psalm 133:1 tells us what happens when we embrace conflict this way. It says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Good and pleasant sounds like the kind of life I want! How about you?
Then let’s talk about it practically. How do we live our lives both loyal to God’s truth and loving to each other? We find our answer in Luke 17:1-5. The first half of the passage offers us three general pieces of wisdom regarding conflict resolution. The second half gives us four steps to resolving conflict well.
Luke 17:1-3 says, “Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves…’”
This passage tells us that first, we should expect conflict in relationships. Someone is not a bad person just because they bring conflict into our lives. They may just not be very mature yet. (We’ve all been there!) Second, we should be careful not to cause division, and third, we should keep our hearts pure.
After these nuggets of wisdom, Jesus offers three steps to resolving conflict well. The passage continues, “…If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.’ The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’”
Jesus first tells us that we should not allow wrongdoing. We can’t avoid conflict, allowing people to continue hurting us or those under our care. God wants us to stand up to sin, in love. Second, we should not be against others. Instead, we should readily forgive them and show kindness to them as they grow.
Third, we should support what fosters maturity. We should talk with them about their sin, forgive them if they repent, and work together to find a solution to the problem. Last, we should support what fosters faith. Like the disciples, we must increase our faith that we can handle conflict in God’s way and live in the unity He has promised!
Conflict resolution isn’t always easy, but the results are more than worth it. So together, let’s embrace God’s path to unity and enjoy the immense blessings it brings!
